awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
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There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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