does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
