Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
