I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
