grandma shit on top of the toilet
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
