Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
do nipples grow back?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
