Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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