"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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