eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
