please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
