Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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(512): its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after http://tfl.nu/7p4f

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(813): View more from Florida

They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.

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(813): They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century. http://tfl.nu/yuyb

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(514): View more from Quebec

It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far

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(514): It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far http://tfl.nu/0vof

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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(704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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(901): Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable http://tfl.nu/jd9a

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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(774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t

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(907): View more from Alaska

I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

(810): View more from Michigan

shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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(907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0

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(219): View more from Indiana

my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

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(219): my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear http://tfl.nu/60vm

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(775): View more from Nevada

He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend

(1-775): View more from Nevada

I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman

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(775): He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend (1-775): I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman http://tfl.nu/d80q

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(707): View more from California

I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.

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(707): I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/bt78

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(916): View more from California

............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help

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(916): ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help http://tfl.nu/sdm1

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(443): View more from Maryland

How's my date look?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Like a retarded elf

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In a good way

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(443): How's my date look? (814): Like a retarded elf (814): In a good way http://tfl.nu/jjcc

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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(405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"

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(651): Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?" http://tfl.nu/vsfp

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(914): View more from New York

hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous

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(914): hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous http://tfl.nu/zdir

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