they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.