I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
