what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.