she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize