their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
