I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
