Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
