this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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