I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
