no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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