Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
