did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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