That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
