I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
