he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
