fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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