Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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