Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize