You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
