Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
