I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
