There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
