Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
