just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
