my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
