3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
