so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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