he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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