Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
