So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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