So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
