My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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