Already got asked if we're dating
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
