Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I checked into jail on foursquare
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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