Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
