i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so let's talk penis.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
