"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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