You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
