I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
