I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize