those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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