did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
