As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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