it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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