Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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