i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
