yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize