i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize