I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
