Dual....:-)
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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