dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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