I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
