I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
