yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
