Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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