JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My ATM looks so different sober.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
