Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
