i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
