Apparently you make a good broom.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Panties = found
Randomize
