I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize