dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
