I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
