Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
